I've been thinking about the way my life is gonna be going in the new year. What changes I want and need to make and how they will effect my life, my daughters life and my career. Well, not really much my career but you kinda get the idea.
As some of my readers might know, I will have my daughter a lot more then I do now. I'm getting excited for the more time I get to spend with her. I know it will leave me a little stressed with having to get her to daycare on time then me to work and then back from work to pick her up before the after-school daycare closes. And it will leave me with less time to start to explore the dating world again. I have been single for a year...well, I should just say more like 18 months. The last person I dated seemed to only want to screw me a couple times then make up excuses to why she's too busy to hang out. Oh well, her loss.
I am planning on moving when my lease is up in June to a small 2 bedroom apartment. I do love to live in houses but there comes a time where you have to ignore what you want and get something that will allow you to save money so you can do things in the future with you child and give them the best possible life they can have. I've always wanted to give my daughter a better life then I had growing up and so far, she has, but I can always do better. When the day comes where I think I cannot do anything to better her life is the day I have given up trying to make her life perfect but I do not see that day ever coming. Even after she gets older and have a family of her own, I will still strive to get her life to be the best as possible. Even if that means sacrificing the things I want for myself in life. I do however see her wanting to go over and beyond to make my life better. I already see that compassion in her heart now. And I will do my best to keep that trait in her 'cause that will make her life so much better.
I've been meaning to spend more time doing my blog but I just haven't got around to it. I know shame on me but priorities change as life progresses. But don't think I will stop blogging all together. I will still try to do one once a week. Hopefully more. Anyways. it's getting closer to Christmas. Counting down the days for when Santa comes to spoil my little one. I have noticed that my excitement for Christmas has changed over the years from when I was young. I no longer get excited for getting gifts but I find more pleasure anticipating and watching my daughter wake up Christmas morning and seeing all the presents and the joy she will have opening them all up. It almost brings tears of happiness in my eyes just thinking about it. I hope she loves what she gets....well, I know she will love it. lol
Just remember people, life is always changing. Just keep an eye on the important things and push yourself to make that the main priority in your life, no matter how down you are, or how hard it might be, because in the end, those things are what you look back at and determine how great a life you lived. You don't want to look back and find out you wasted all that valuable time with childish behaviour. Only if I understood this like I do now 6-7 years ago. But I will not beat myself up on this, I will use it as a stepping stool so it doesn't happen again.
~ JB
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