Ya I know I didn't do a blog yesterday. I had a very busy day and I just couldn't find any time to even post a simple joke or anything. I'm here now, on lunch at work posting. And as the title hints, I'm dealing with anxiety.
I've had small anxiety attacks here and there but nothing too bad. Last time I had one this bad was when I was in High School. That was over 9 years ago. I thought the major attacks were gone. I can easily handle the small ones but the big ones just destroy me. I know the thoughts in my head are illogical and irrational but I just can't help it. If you have never suffered from anxiety, you won't truly understand.
The only way I can focus and not let this consume me is working on overdrive and work, work, work. If I let my mind wander it will start playing tricks on me making me think something terrible is gonna happen. To me, something bad happening at work, something bad happening to family, etc. I literally was in tears on the verge of crying because of those thoughts. And knowing those thoughts were irrational, I was getting angry. Nothing worse then having an anxiety attack, almost crying and being angry from that. Nothing comes good out of that if you dwell in that place.
I actually wanted to do a blog today about video games and stuff like that but with how my mind is, I'll have to do it tomorrow. So stay tuned for a better blog tomorrow or if things get better, tonight.
Life is like a Reese crunchy chocolate bar, we are all nuts on the inside.
~ JB
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